Twlight
by dujourfan1
Summary: set to Vanessa Carlton's 'Twilight'. Remus, some years after the fall of Voldemort, reflecting on the three people who changed his life forever.


Here is my sad, woeful story. 

DISCLAIMER: I am not Jo Rowling or Vanessa Carlton. Don't sue me, you won't get much, I assure you. 

Second, I starting writing this fic a year ago! And I was becoming VERY happy with it. It was turning out well. I only had three more stanzas to incorporate, and BANG! I'd be done. Nope. I ended up losing three pages of hard work and too upset to try and redo them, I threw the other two pages (which consisted of the second and fourth pages) in my drawer and forgot about them. 'Til last week when I heard this song, I decided to hunt down the two pages I had left and re-write it. Another problem I ran into, I didn't know which part went with which stanza, so this fic has taken A LOT of work. 

A/N: Yeah, I keep rambling, but hey, I'm the author! Nah-nahna poo poo! Anyway, this fic is a bit confusing the way I wrote it. After the first paragraph Remus is kind of addressing the gang. I'm sorry I skip around so much but the whole starting over again got me kind of pissed. I think I may be done this incredibly long AN. Song in **bold**, flashbacks in _Italics_

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****

I was stained with a role,

In a day not my own

But as you walked into my life 

You showed what needed to be shown

I always knew, what was right

I just didn't know that I might

Peel away and choose to see 

With such a different sight

People see werewolves as mean, heartless monsters. What they don't see-or maybe they don't even care- is the person inside the monster; the person that thinks, feels, loves. From the time I received my bite, I realized people don't trust anything that isn't "natural." But when I went to Hogwarts, finding myself surrounded by the "unnatural" and three best friends, I saw that the werewolf inside of me did not make me a monster, just unique. I had always known this, but to have people who believed it also, was like seeing the light for the first time after my transformation. 

****

And I will never see the sky the same way,

And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday

And I will never cease to fly if held down,

And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,

Cause I've seen twilight

James, Peter, Sirius. You could be quite the handful…Not that I was a star student myself, but those 130 detentions don't look too bad next to Sirius' 1200.

Even our first day in first year you three couldn't manage to keep out of trouble. I remember when were crossing the lake in the boats…

__

James turned Sirius' most prized possession- his hair- green. Well, Sirius threw a growing charm aimed at James' head. Prongs ducked and fell out of the boat.

"Jimbo, you nearly killed poor Humphrolaf with your carcass!" 

"Humphrolaf? Bleck I got algae in my mouth!" James climbed back into the boat.

"Yea, the squid! That's his name! Here H.O., want some soap?" (An: this was taken from an RPG with my dear friend Lauren from TX)

"Sirius! Don't feed him soap! Squids don't eat soap!" 

"Too late, Remus buddy! Hey! I think he likes it!"

It was wonderful telling Madam Pomfrey that Padfoot got his black eye from a bar of soap! Oh, the standards we set for future students, beating out old Godric himself. 

****

Never cared never wanted

Never sought to see what flaunted

So on purpose so in my face

Couldn't see beyond my own place

It was so easy not to behold what I could hold 

But you taught me I could change

Whatever came within these shallow days

You guys have done so much for me, I was always grateful but never realized just how much you have done until now. Never really knew what I had until I lost it. What did I do to deserve you guys? You became my friends when no one else would; you didn't laugh or tease me. You became animagus to accompany me. Always helped me through the bad times, I could have been a better friend, could have done more, you made living life easier for me. You taught me that while I had you, I would never be alone. We even promised each other that. "Together forever, never apart, true friends are always close at heart." Whatever happened, I always thought you'd help me through, no matter what, just as I'd do for you. How quickly things change.

And I will never see the sky the same way,

And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday

And I will never cease to flu if held down,

And I will always reach too high cause I've seen

Cause I've seen twilight

You told me, after you found out about my…condition, that it is only one part of me. 

__

"You mean, you guys still want to be friends with me?"

"Remus, of course. You can't change who you are. And friends are supposed to like you for that. Besides, it happened in your past and the only thing you can do is live for the moment and expect the future."

"Yes," replied Sirius in a misty voice turning around. Bangles adorned his wrists and a scarf was wrapped around his head making him look amazingly like Professor Trelawney. "However, your future doesn't look too bright…I see you being lead onto a diving board by a hoard of evil, callous, teeny boppers and falling into a pool of floaties!" His hand flew to his forehead. "It is much too terrible to happen to such a bright young man. Oh! My prediction has worn me to pieces." This was followed by a dramatic flop onto the bed and two pillows hitting him square in the face. And, needless to say, a pillow fight. 

****

As the sun shines through it pushes away, 

And pushes ahead

It fills the warmth of blue

And leaves a chill instead and 

I didn't know that I could be

So blind to all that is so real

But as illusion dies

I see there is so much to be revealed 

On graduation day, it was hard to say goodbye to our wonderful, carefree childhood and become responsible adults. But it's even harder now to look back and remember. 

The simplest things bring back floods of nostalgia. Picking up my wand, going to Hogwarts, even breathing sometimes, fills me with memories. Memories of the countless times we've played pranks, sending Snape those little presents, being reprimanded for disturbing class again, and when we had to move at a snails pace through the halls because four people shouldn't share one invisibility cloak. 

But most of all, I am reminded of all you have done for me and of the worst day of my life. 

****

And I will never see the sky the same way,

And I will learn to say goodbye to yesterday

And I will never cease to fly if held down,

And I will always reach too high cause I've seen,

I've seen, twilight.

Going to Godric's Hollow and finding it in ruins was the hardest day of my life. The walls that were no more once held pictures of happier times. The furniture that was broken in and comfortable had stuffing torn out and legs missing. The kitchen table had held its share of burn marks, and was now in splinters. All the windows that were adorned with the drapes Lily had sewn while she was pregnant were blown out.

And the life, the spirit that had once permeated the air was as hard to catch as sunrays. Two of our group had lost themselves to an unstoppable evil that was only threatened by their baby son. Another, a traitor, a criminal, a murderer. And yet, the other, blown up on a Muggle street with only a finger as proof he once lived. And the last, myself, left standing alone. Good old Remus, he'll never leave. He'll always be around. Here I am exactly how I started out. No one to be a friend, lend a hand, help me out, no one to lean on. 

****

I was stained, with a role,

In a day not my own

But as you walked into my life

You showed what needed to be shown

I always knew, what was right,

I just didn't know that I might

Peel away and choose to see 

With such a different sight

I will never meet people like you again. You were too unique, too caring, and you have reached me in ways no one else ever will.

You did what no one else would have thought possible. You befriended a werewolf and made him a better person. Showed me to live life past the fur and claws; past the monster. 

****

And I will never see the sky the same way,

I will never be able to look at the Dog Star without remembering its namesake who always seemed to find his way to detention. 

****

And I will learn to say good-bye to yesterday

Everyday I visit a graveyard with flowers for a friend who will never return. A friend, who, even after all this time, I still can't say good-bye to.

****

And I will never cease to fly if held down,

Out of all of us, Peter had to try the hardest to succeed. He died trying. I guess I'll have to try for him now. 

****

And I will always reach to high cause I've seen,

I will strive to be the person you told me I could be. I owe that much to you all. 

It is as I sit here, waiting for the moon to change my appearance that I let myself remember countless other twilights with you by my side and wait for those to come. 

****

Cause I've seen twilight. 

Well, after a year, there it is. I hope you liked it, it didn't turn out as I hoped. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, leave me a review? 


End file.
